Three Funny Missionary Stories

I have dozens of funny missionary stories, some that I witnessed and some in which I inadvertently took part. The following three stories unfolded while Lee (my husband) and I were on deputation to raise support for medical work overseas.

The Microphone
We arrived one Sunday at a large church north of Seattle, where we sat at the side in the second row with our three kids. After Lee was called to the pulpit, he started his talk, but the mic was too far from him to pick up his voice. So I cupped my ear, hoping that when he glanced at me, which he usually did from time to time, he’d realize we couldn’t hear him. Sure enough, he saw me, grabbed the mic, and announced with plenty of volume, “I think my wife wants me to introduce her.”

Can't hear you...
Can’t hear you…

Harmless House Guests
We got to stay in the homes of many gracious people, including a couple whom I’ll call Bud and Beulah because I can’t remember their names, which is probably best. Beulah took me into a large bedroom with a fantastic mural of a forest covering the wall. Bud and Lee and the kids trailed after us. As I threw out my arms to show Lee the mural, I backhanded Bud in the jaw and nearly knocked him over.

Perfect Place to Sleep
Perfect Place to Sleep

Time to Spare
On a Sunday evening, we arrived at a tiny church where the meeting was held in a side room with folding chairs, a microphone, and no lectern, which, had there been one, Lee would’ve used for his notes and upon which he might’ve rested his hands. Don’t get me wrong – Lee was (and is!) an excellent speaker but had a habit of jingling the coins in his pocket, which was distracting. At least to me.

Loose Change
Loose Change

When he’d given about half of his talk and I could no longer stand the jingling, I decided to alert him to the problem by fixing my gaze on his front pocket. He finally looked at me.

His face went blank, he said, “Let’s close in prayer,” and, after giving a blessing, he did an about-face. A minute later he appeared next to me. “What were you looking at? My fly isn’t open!”

Posted on September 29, 2015

8 thoughts on “Three Funny Missionary Stories

    1. Thank you very much for your encouragement, Judy and Carolyn. I hope everyone who reads my anecdotes realizes that I didn’t mean to poke fun at anyone but myself!

    1. Becky, I’d love to hear your stories and hope you’ll share them with me sometime. Or, maybe you’ll write a book! Susan, glad you liked the stories, too. I appreciate your reading my blog and commenting!

  1. I remember once when David Rogers and I were first starting on the missionary furlough trail, going from church to church, dragging our 5-year old son along with us. We sang our usual duet and David was delivering his sermon when Daniel stood up in the middle of it all and shouted “Do we have to listen to this same missionary stuff again?” It was at that moment of truth we realized we had a common congregation at every church to which we were invited to tell in 5 minutes or ten, of “everything that we had experienced in the past 5 years we had been away”,…yes, our son! So from that moment on we changed everything every single Sunday: songs, slide shows, sermons, etc., to the satisfaction of 2 small listening ears. It was a lesson well-learned.

    1. Thanks for sharing that wonderful, revealing deputation story, Glenda! I have such fond memories of you and your family coming to Rwanguba at conference time and helping keep me sane, ha.

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